How to be on point at festivals this year

This year, I propose a rejection to the Hunter wellies, flower headbands and tie-dye t shirts that have become universally accepted festival staples. It’s 2014, and if you’re going to be smelling of days’ worth of sweat in a field full of mud and human excrement, you want to look on point, right?

So here is my fashion low-down for this year’s festival season:

The Bucket Hat

 

Not a new thing by any means, in fact wearing one of these sun-blockers whether you look like a plank or not (my own face is rather too oblong), may help you to make-believe you were part of the Madchester scene. Which of course is a great thing. At only 40-plus pounds a pop, they come in all sorts of great shades and brands nowadays too, Stussy, Obey, Toomuch, the list goes on. Plus anything that protects you from having a sunstroke after half a glass of box-wine is an essential.

                                    

This guy on Google images examples the many varieties of the bucket hat

 

 

The Sliders

 

Until last year, these bad-boys hadn’t seen the light of day since the early noughtie’s via Dad’s and older brother’s alike on Thompson’s package holidays. But they’re cool now, and I want a pair. Apparently it’s even better if you wear them like a German tourist, the brighter white socks, the better. In addition to looking like a don, the soles are so thick and waterproof that you should still remain protected against puddles of piss in the portaloo’s.

 

 

Anything North Face

 

Maybe this trend is dying down a bit now, mainly because any young person who isn’t a trust-fund baby can’t actually afford to buy a £200 coat. However, via my weekend retail job, I’ve seen plenty of Brick Lane-goers still going with it, so I’m gonna go with it too. Perhaps North Face don’t do Summer clothes, but if you can get your hands on a t-shirt or even a gilet jacket so your arms at least have some exposure, work it.

North Face + bucket hat = on point

 

 

T-shirts that 1% of the crowd will get

 

Be wary of this one, it can get annoying when people look at your Yolo Ono top from African Apparel and think you’re endorsing the word yolo. NO, like you’re the idiot for not getting it. If you want to please the 1% though, donutthestore.com is a great place to buy witty fruit of the loom tees for 25 quid and above.

 

 

John Lennon glasses

 

It seems conventional right? Wrong, it’s only not cool if yours aren’t actually 20 years old or ray ban.

ha look Will.i.am's are shit

 

 Stay fresh.